Mee My Mo: My life as I know it, breathe it, live it and love it!
Thursday, May 19, 2011
INSTANT GRATIFICATION NATION
May 2011
I have learned that often times the Holy Spirit gives revelation in His timing for His Church. He reveals these things to humble men that are searching the Lord’s heart and searching the scriptures. Their purpose is not to glorify themselves, but point always back to Jesus. They are considered trailblazers to some, as the Holy Spirit has also put this in other’s hearts, and it bears witness to them. To others they are seen as “trouble makers”, because they go against some ideals the Church as taken on. But then a phenomenon takes place. Teachers/pastors that lack discipline, that are worried about their attendance numbers and their offering plates are desperate for something new; a fresh word. They have not been on their knees seeking God’s council, but they are noticing the numbers dwindle. So they grab onto a new teaching, yet because revelations of the Holy Spirit do not tickle the ears of man, they do not promote man, but instead they come against man made ideas; never promoting man, never promoting riches and wealth, discipline. They twist the revelation because it never lay hold in their own heart. They never allowed the Spirit of Truth to work, convict, cause repentance. They instead pervert the teaching, fearing if they teach the way they heard it that people will leave. When the arrogant, undisciplined or unyielded teachers take it for themselves and teach the congregation they put God's people in bondage. The very revelation that was meant to bring unity, peace, conviction, revelation and relationship with the Lord has brought deception wrapped in a bow of “ tell the people what they want to hear”. The motive is either of fear or greed. Fear they may lose their congregation if they speak such “hard truths” or greed of power, money, and being successful in the world’s eyes.
But is this problem of tickling ears solely the teachers, pastors, and prophets who are speaking falsely? I suggest not. As we can see in scripture that the Lord will allow false teachers and prophets, bad kings and rulers because that is what His people demanded. When Jesus went into the temple and overturned tables, He drove out the sellers AND the buyers. As Israel demanded a king to rule over them so they could be like the rest of the World, the Lord gave in.
Jeremiah 5:31 "The prophets prophesy lies, The priests rule by their own authority, And my people love it this way. But what will you do in the end?"
2 Peter 2:1 “But false prophets also arose among the people, just as there will also be false teachers among you, who will secretly introduce destructive heresies, even denying the Master who bought them, bringing swift destruction upon themselves. 2Many will follow their sensuality, and because of them the way of the truth will be maligned; 3and in their greed they will exploit you with false words; their judgment from long ago is not idle, and their destruction is not asleep.”
Here in America we have become an instant gratification nation. In all aspects of life we can see that so many want this relationship with God, they want to hear God speak in their lives, and mostly want the blessings of the Lord. But they fail in desiring the process of attaining that. They may have even heard true and correct teaching but only heard the promises of the revelation but closed ears to the “IF” portion of the “If….then” statement.
I can assure you teachers that replicate the way of the World are not teaching as they should. If they are tickling your ears with teachings of prosperity, wealth and no coming judgment they are teaching false things. I have noticed more and more a fear among the Christians. It’s not just the Church who knows we are living in end times; the whole secular world is beginning to sense this too. The Hollywood movies and headlines all scream about it. I have closely watched different interpretations of this. There are some involved in new age spiritualism that can feel a “shift” going to happen. Their remedy? To become more enlightened and all about SELF.
In the Church it is clear to see that the people do not want to hear about end times; they only want to hear about “God will heal the land”, forgetting the “14If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.
There is a lot more IF in that statement then the Church cares to emphasis. Sure I have heard them say it but the emphasis is on the “heal their land.” What is the requirement though? Let me restate: “IF MY own people will humble themselves, IF they will pray, IF they will seek MY face (does not say My hand or blessing) IF they will TURN FROM THEIR WICKED WAYS….then I will hear from heaven, I will forgive them their sin and heal their land.
Church that is not happening. In fact we see just the opposite, we see “super apostles” setting up their own “Kingdom of Heaven” here on this Earth. We see prosperity being taught in ways to defile the Words of the Bible. We see SELF SELF SELF. That is what people want to hear…”you’ll be rich and always healthy if you give me your money. Don’t worry about hearing from God yourself, I will do that for you and will tell you what to do.” They tickle each others ears and when someone comes along and says “This can’t be right because the Bible says…” Then they are ostracized or kicked out from the congregation. They’re considered rogue and doom and gloom speakers. Thus the cycle continues. The Church doesn’t truly want to hear what the Lord says, they want someone else to do the “work” for them, and they don’t want to hear correction or discipline. They treat learning like making a box of instant mashed potatoes.
2 Timothy 4:1-5 “1I solemnly charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by His appearing and His kingdom: 2preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort, with great patience and instruction. 3For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance to their own desires, 4and will turn away their ears from the truth and will turn aside to myths. 5But you, be sober in all things, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.
I wonder if the reason of fear of the future is because we think about what we want in our own lives; we want our children to get married, we want to have that career we have been working toward, we want our business to flourish…while all those things are good and occupy the time we had better make sure they are not put before our God. Over and over in scripture we hear the words “Watch and Be Ready”.
Let us really take Peter’s word in (2 Peter Chpt 3) and allow these words to soak into our hearts and minds today.
Purpose of This Letter
1 This is now, beloved, the second letter I am writing to you in which I am stirring up your sincere mind by way of reminder, 2 that you should remember the words spoken beforehand by the holy prophets and the commandment of the Lord and Savior spoken by your apostles.
The Coming Day of the Lord
3 Know this first of all, that in the last days mockers will come with their mocking, following after their own lusts, 4 and saying, "Where is the promise of His coming? For ever since the fathers fell asleep, all continues just as it was from the beginning of creation." 5 For when they maintain this, it escapes their notice that by the word of God the heavens existed long ago and the earth was formed out of water and by water, 6 through which the world at that time was destroyed, being flooded with water. 7 But by His word the present heavens and earth are being reserved for fire, kept for the day of judgment and destruction of ungodly men.
8 But do not let this one fact escape your notice, beloved, that with the Lord one day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years like one day. 9 The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance.
A New Heaven and Earth
10 But the day of the Lord will come like a thief, in which the heavens will pass away with a roar and the elements will be destroyed with intense heat, and the earth and its works will be burned up.
11 Since all these things are to be destroyed in this way, what sort of people ought you to be in holy conduct and godliness, 12 looking for and hastening the coming of the day of God, because of which the heavens will be destroyed by burning, and the elements will melt with intense heat! 13 But according to His promise we are looking for new heavens and a new earth, in which righteousness dwells.
14 Therefore, beloved, since you look for these things, be diligent to be found by Him in peace, spotless and blameless, 15 and regard the patience of our Lord as salvation; just as also our beloved brother Paul, according to the wisdom given him, wrote to you, 16 as also in all his letters, speaking in them of these things, in which are some things hard to understand, which the untaught and unstable distort, as they do also the rest of the Scriptures, to their own destruction. 17 You therefore, beloved, knowing this beforehand, be on your guard so that you are not carried away by the error of unprincipled men and fall from your own steadfastness, 18 but grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory, both now and to the day of eternity. Amen
I have learned that often times the Holy Spirit gives revelation in His timing for His Church. He reveals these things to humble men that are searching the Lord’s heart and searching the scriptures. Their purpose is not to glorify themselves, but point always back to Jesus. They are considered trailblazers to some, as the Holy Spirit has also put this in other’s hearts, and it bears witness to them. To others they are seen as “trouble makers”, because they go against some ideals the Church as taken on. But then a phenomenon takes place. Teachers/pastors that lack discipline, that are worried about their attendance numbers and their offering plates are desperate for something new; a fresh word. They have not been on their knees seeking God’s council, but they are noticing the numbers dwindle. So they grab onto a new teaching, yet because revelations of the Holy Spirit do not tickle the ears of man, they do not promote man, but instead they come against man made ideas; never promoting man, never promoting riches and wealth, discipline. They twist the revelation because it never lay hold in their own heart. They never allowed the Spirit of Truth to work, convict, cause repentance. They instead pervert the teaching, fearing if they teach the way they heard it that people will leave. When the arrogant, undisciplined or unyielded teachers take it for themselves and teach the congregation they put God's people in bondage. The very revelation that was meant to bring unity, peace, conviction, revelation and relationship with the Lord has brought deception wrapped in a bow of “ tell the people what they want to hear”. The motive is either of fear or greed. Fear they may lose their congregation if they speak such “hard truths” or greed of power, money, and being successful in the world’s eyes.
But is this problem of tickling ears solely the teachers, pastors, and prophets who are speaking falsely? I suggest not. As we can see in scripture that the Lord will allow false teachers and prophets, bad kings and rulers because that is what His people demanded. When Jesus went into the temple and overturned tables, He drove out the sellers AND the buyers. As Israel demanded a king to rule over them so they could be like the rest of the World, the Lord gave in.
Jeremiah 5:31 "The prophets prophesy lies, The priests rule by their own authority, And my people love it this way. But what will you do in the end?"
2 Peter 2:1 “But false prophets also arose among the people, just as there will also be false teachers among you, who will secretly introduce destructive heresies, even denying the Master who bought them, bringing swift destruction upon themselves. 2Many will follow their sensuality, and because of them the way of the truth will be maligned; 3and in their greed they will exploit you with false words; their judgment from long ago is not idle, and their destruction is not asleep.”
Here in America we have become an instant gratification nation. In all aspects of life we can see that so many want this relationship with God, they want to hear God speak in their lives, and mostly want the blessings of the Lord. But they fail in desiring the process of attaining that. They may have even heard true and correct teaching but only heard the promises of the revelation but closed ears to the “IF” portion of the “If….then” statement.
I can assure you teachers that replicate the way of the World are not teaching as they should. If they are tickling your ears with teachings of prosperity, wealth and no coming judgment they are teaching false things. I have noticed more and more a fear among the Christians. It’s not just the Church who knows we are living in end times; the whole secular world is beginning to sense this too. The Hollywood movies and headlines all scream about it. I have closely watched different interpretations of this. There are some involved in new age spiritualism that can feel a “shift” going to happen. Their remedy? To become more enlightened and all about SELF.
In the Church it is clear to see that the people do not want to hear about end times; they only want to hear about “God will heal the land”, forgetting the “14If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.
There is a lot more IF in that statement then the Church cares to emphasis. Sure I have heard them say it but the emphasis is on the “heal their land.” What is the requirement though? Let me restate: “IF MY own people will humble themselves, IF they will pray, IF they will seek MY face (does not say My hand or blessing) IF they will TURN FROM THEIR WICKED WAYS….then I will hear from heaven, I will forgive them their sin and heal their land.
Church that is not happening. In fact we see just the opposite, we see “super apostles” setting up their own “Kingdom of Heaven” here on this Earth. We see prosperity being taught in ways to defile the Words of the Bible. We see SELF SELF SELF. That is what people want to hear…”you’ll be rich and always healthy if you give me your money. Don’t worry about hearing from God yourself, I will do that for you and will tell you what to do.” They tickle each others ears and when someone comes along and says “This can’t be right because the Bible says…” Then they are ostracized or kicked out from the congregation. They’re considered rogue and doom and gloom speakers. Thus the cycle continues. The Church doesn’t truly want to hear what the Lord says, they want someone else to do the “work” for them, and they don’t want to hear correction or discipline. They treat learning like making a box of instant mashed potatoes.
2 Timothy 4:1-5 “1I solemnly charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by His appearing and His kingdom: 2preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort, with great patience and instruction. 3For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance to their own desires, 4and will turn away their ears from the truth and will turn aside to myths. 5But you, be sober in all things, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.
I wonder if the reason of fear of the future is because we think about what we want in our own lives; we want our children to get married, we want to have that career we have been working toward, we want our business to flourish…while all those things are good and occupy the time we had better make sure they are not put before our God. Over and over in scripture we hear the words “Watch and Be Ready”.
Let us really take Peter’s word in (2 Peter Chpt 3) and allow these words to soak into our hearts and minds today.
Purpose of This Letter
1 This is now, beloved, the second letter I am writing to you in which I am stirring up your sincere mind by way of reminder, 2 that you should remember the words spoken beforehand by the holy prophets and the commandment of the Lord and Savior spoken by your apostles.
The Coming Day of the Lord
3 Know this first of all, that in the last days mockers will come with their mocking, following after their own lusts, 4 and saying, "Where is the promise of His coming? For ever since the fathers fell asleep, all continues just as it was from the beginning of creation." 5 For when they maintain this, it escapes their notice that by the word of God the heavens existed long ago and the earth was formed out of water and by water, 6 through which the world at that time was destroyed, being flooded with water. 7 But by His word the present heavens and earth are being reserved for fire, kept for the day of judgment and destruction of ungodly men.
8 But do not let this one fact escape your notice, beloved, that with the Lord one day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years like one day. 9 The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance.
A New Heaven and Earth
10 But the day of the Lord will come like a thief, in which the heavens will pass away with a roar and the elements will be destroyed with intense heat, and the earth and its works will be burned up.
11 Since all these things are to be destroyed in this way, what sort of people ought you to be in holy conduct and godliness, 12 looking for and hastening the coming of the day of God, because of which the heavens will be destroyed by burning, and the elements will melt with intense heat! 13 But according to His promise we are looking for new heavens and a new earth, in which righteousness dwells.
14 Therefore, beloved, since you look for these things, be diligent to be found by Him in peace, spotless and blameless, 15 and regard the patience of our Lord as salvation; just as also our beloved brother Paul, according to the wisdom given him, wrote to you, 16 as also in all his letters, speaking in them of these things, in which are some things hard to understand, which the untaught and unstable distort, as they do also the rest of the Scriptures, to their own destruction. 17 You therefore, beloved, knowing this beforehand, be on your guard so that you are not carried away by the error of unprincipled men and fall from your own steadfastness, 18 but grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory, both now and to the day of eternity. Amen
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
I AM BACK!!!
Okay, so I thought that I could never get on with my blogging life; it was over. Reason being was when I would sign in everything was in Turkish. Since I didn't know anyone who spoke Turkish, I resigned to the fact it was meant to be. Now this was back I believe In October and yet it never occurred to me to ask my dear hubby for help. He is after all a Systems Administrator for the Stat of Az. I mean, he didn't know Turkish so what would be the point? He fixed it in 3 minutes top, so here we go.
Friday, October 17, 2008
What the Heck?!
Scarlet is running down the spiral staircase in our bedroom, and says, "oh my gosh Mom, there is a black widow!!" So I come around and see this huge thing, but there is no red hourglass on it and I am just amazed at the girth of this creature. Dhyan come downstairs from taking a shower and has a cute little, pink towel wrapped around him. hes uncomfortable already because it's stiff and scratchy, as it is lined dried because the wiring for our dryer is not the same as the house wiring, thus, no dryer. Anyway, I give a coy smile and say, "Dhyan, you are going to have to do something you really are not gonna want to do...but it must be done, and it must be done tonight." He has a look of sheer stress and dread come over his face as he understands that impending doom that lay ahead of him. He hesitiantly ask, "how many are there?" We said just one, he replies, "what is it?" We all say in unison, "just go see for yourself." He goes and discovers and his face was picturesque! He then goes to the closet and gets his shotgun (unloaded of course) and pretends he's gonna shoot it. We decide this would be fun to play with Wiley as well. So we clal him down saying there is a spider that needs to be killed an dhe needs to help dad. His response was manly and says, how big? We starts down the stairs and Dhyan is pointing to it. he takes a second galnce and is serious when he says, "Thats not a spider!!" We asked then what is it? he says its an animal, then looks again and says, "Oh wait, it is spider!" At any rate, Dhyan ends up poing it witha stick and killing it. We all examined it afterwards and still couldn't figure out what it was! Any guesses?
Monday, July 14, 2008
Appreciation of the Good Ole Days
Okay so things change when we all grow up, I get this, but never did I think I would be the mom that told the "I walked 12 miles in the snow uphill both ways" story. But here I stand before you and tell you that I am.
simple comparison: (me at 14), wake up to a fire alarm at 4am. this was my dad's oh so creative way of waking us all up at one time instead of going to each of his daughters' four rooms. Yeah, it's the weekend, no school work, sleep in, have free time, maybe go do something fun with some friends. EEErrrt, that the skidding sounds of brakes. No; that was not my weekend. My weekend consisted of carrying things to a overfilled garage with all sorts of parts to all sorts of things to a barn that was also filled with things I didn't know what they are. But first we had to tediously sort out metric tools from standard tools and we did this weekend after weekend. Why, you may ask. Well I don't know to be honest; it didn't make sense then and it doesn't make sense now. Nevertheless the weekends were always the same, the only thing that changed was what area we were going to take stuff from to transfer; the barn to the awning, to the garage back to the awning. So a typical weekend day would be waking up to a fire alarm at 4am, eating a big homemade breakfast of biscuits, gravy, eggs and bacon and juice. Then it was outside to do hours of grueling work. Stop for a lunch break and then back to it. When we were done outside we had to make sure our inside chores were done and then dinner. My school days were even worse. We'd wake up and before we got dressed for school we had to all go outside and pull 400 weeds each and show them to our dad, who sometimes counted to mak sure we weren't cheating. THEN we could get dressed, and get ready for school. After school we had homework and chores. I literally carried the real creative nickname, "Weedgirl", at this age. This was because as I was picking weeds, spring and summer, a boy I had a crush on drove by on his Quad and stop to laugh at me, calf high in irrigation water, with a hanky on my head a dirty clothes. This was embarrassing enough but when he brought back his friends to yell, "Weedgirl!!", that was downright humiliating. That stupid nickname lasted for 2 years!
Fast forward. Van stumbles down the stairs at around 9am, eats breakfasts, lays around on the couch until someone tells her to help out. At this point we get some sort of attitude, sigh, eye roll or complaint. She skims the surface of the counters and then disappears back up stairs. I am so busy my kids have learned that if they are quiet and don't bring attention to themselves they can go unnoticed and in sheer instinct mode I am cleaning what they were suppose to. We go out for lunch, maybe do something as a family as we constantly have to bring Van back to reality because she is texting on her phone. She eventually will let us know her plans for the week and in a sly way lets me know how much money I will be out.
The other day I was so fed up with it all I decided when we move out to my parents old house, yes the very house the above story was set, I will for a week let her live my life. It'll build character. Wathc for updates in the winter.....
Friday, June 27, 2008
The Ped Egg and Other Ramblings
So this story begins in the middle; the middle of my journey to realizing why I have a hang up about pedicures. For Mother's Day this year I asked for a Ped Egg from my children. I am a mother of four children and rarely do I have the time or the energy to spend on myself. I am a no nonsense type of girl anyway so actually spending time to care for my feet is a luxury. (Side note here: I have really dried out feet, cracked so bad that when I went to Mexico I came back with blood poisoning....now back to the story). Although I don't usually allow myself such privileges I was ashamed of my ugly feet when I was at my Bible study and the women got off on the topic of sandals...which led into feet...which led into the Ped Egg. However from all this talk I held on to one comment, it was; "It's almost sandal wearing time and all women should have tidy feet." I nonchalantly looked down at my gnarled mess of feet and saw first of all I was already wearing sandals (another one of the things I rarely do is pay attention to fashion season. For goodness sake, that is too much work!) My toenails weren't painted, or even trimmed nicely, my feet were dried and my heels were all of a sudden tattling my secret of unlady like proportion. I knew it deep in my heart...my feet were not tidy. I curled my toes in as if nobody would notice them that way. This wasn't working, so I pulled my feet in under my chair. When I got home I clearly stated my want of the miraculous Ped Egg. This was it; this would dissolve my shame!
Fast forward to a few weeks ago. My mother invited all of her girls over to give us pedicures. She scrubbed, exfoliated, massaged and painted 8 feet and 40 toes! She could have taken the easy way out and afforded herself the treat to get her feet done and just pay for all of us to go, but no. She instead served with great humbleness. It was a blessing. The reason behind this is she knows I don't care for pedicures at salons. They tickle me and I feel like an unclassed hillbilly as I can't stop pulling my feet away while laughing. Not only that but my feet are so uncared for I feel like they are judging me. Plus, the one and only time I went the asian woman attending to my woeful mess asked if she could do my eyebrows as well. I hesitantly said, "Um...what will they look like?" Her painfully honest, or maybe just plain rude response was, "betta than they look wight now!" I said no, in rebellious protest to the insult. Whether the insult by them or the insult of my feet to them, I have never returned.
Now let's go back to why this pedicure issue has been a haunting one. I finally realized I am damaged goods when it comes to pedicures, and here is why: Picture it… Portland, Oregon, circa 1990. I was just a young, carefree girl living the La vida loco in Portland. It was my first experience with big city and well, the city just called my name...so much so I rarely attended high school. To the advice of my mother I had better get some extra credits before I failed. I was then enrolled in an extracurricular project that would give me high school credits: working at a salon for free. This wasn't bad, I actually enjoyed it. I learned how to give facial, manicures, pedicures, and put perm rollers in. Most of the clients that came in were elderly and I had a great time chatting it up with them. I felt I was actually going to acting school as I would prepare myself to get in to character as a beautician, as I really didn't have the greatest skill. I talked the talk and knew just enough to fool the client. All was going well, until that fateful day. I was told by my manager that I had a client for a pedicure. I quickly greeted her and sat her down and introduced myself. I began to take off her shoes and there before me were the yellowist, thickest toenails I had ever seen. I continued and placed her feet in the warm water. I let them soak for a bit longer than usual as I tried to get the courage up to massage them. I took one out and began massaging as I made small talk with her. She was loving the massage and I could tell by her worn feet she must work hard. I was right, she was a hard worker...she was a school lunch lady. Somehow, knowing that made matters worse as the stigmatic visions of a lunch lady danced in my head; hairy mole, dirty teeth, mean, old woman. I was having an internal conflict: If I breathe through my nose I smell her crusty feet. If I breathe through my mouth I will inhale her skin. I keep going between the two. It was now time to cut, no chop in this case, her toenails. I am making some progress but come to the big toe. I am struggling with my eyes squinched and my mouth open as I am truly working hard. Then it happens, the layered toe nail was so soaked it began crumbling and as I cut it shot up and like a projectile a piece of the crumbling rocket flew into the back of my throat!!! I dropped her foot and stuck out my tongue as I gagged and I felt it drop down my throat. I swallowed her toenail. I will say it again, I swallowed the lunch lady's toenail!! I jumped to my feet and ran to the bathroom. I abandoned all client etiquette. I looked desperately for someone, anyone to give me direction. What is the protocol of swallowing a toenail?! This was never mentioned in my mandatory classes. I frantically ran to tell my coworkers. They just laughed.
I would like to put this all behind me now but I have to realize that my experience has shaped me into what I am today. I am a woman that suffers with pedicure phobia
Fast forward to a few weeks ago. My mother invited all of her girls over to give us pedicures. She scrubbed, exfoliated, massaged and painted 8 feet and 40 toes! She could have taken the easy way out and afforded herself the treat to get her feet done and just pay for all of us to go, but no. She instead served with great humbleness. It was a blessing. The reason behind this is she knows I don't care for pedicures at salons. They tickle me and I feel like an unclassed hillbilly as I can't stop pulling my feet away while laughing. Not only that but my feet are so uncared for I feel like they are judging me. Plus, the one and only time I went the asian woman attending to my woeful mess asked if she could do my eyebrows as well. I hesitantly said, "Um...what will they look like?" Her painfully honest, or maybe just plain rude response was, "betta than they look wight now!" I said no, in rebellious protest to the insult. Whether the insult by them or the insult of my feet to them, I have never returned.
Now let's go back to why this pedicure issue has been a haunting one. I finally realized I am damaged goods when it comes to pedicures, and here is why: Picture it… Portland, Oregon, circa 1990. I was just a young, carefree girl living the La vida loco in Portland. It was my first experience with big city and well, the city just called my name...so much so I rarely attended high school. To the advice of my mother I had better get some extra credits before I failed. I was then enrolled in an extracurricular project that would give me high school credits: working at a salon for free. This wasn't bad, I actually enjoyed it. I learned how to give facial, manicures, pedicures, and put perm rollers in. Most of the clients that came in were elderly and I had a great time chatting it up with them. I felt I was actually going to acting school as I would prepare myself to get in to character as a beautician, as I really didn't have the greatest skill. I talked the talk and knew just enough to fool the client. All was going well, until that fateful day. I was told by my manager that I had a client for a pedicure. I quickly greeted her and sat her down and introduced myself. I began to take off her shoes and there before me were the yellowist, thickest toenails I had ever seen. I continued and placed her feet in the warm water. I let them soak for a bit longer than usual as I tried to get the courage up to massage them. I took one out and began massaging as I made small talk with her. She was loving the massage and I could tell by her worn feet she must work hard. I was right, she was a hard worker...she was a school lunch lady. Somehow, knowing that made matters worse as the stigmatic visions of a lunch lady danced in my head; hairy mole, dirty teeth, mean, old woman. I was having an internal conflict: If I breathe through my nose I smell her crusty feet. If I breathe through my mouth I will inhale her skin. I keep going between the two. It was now time to cut, no chop in this case, her toenails. I am making some progress but come to the big toe. I am struggling with my eyes squinched and my mouth open as I am truly working hard. Then it happens, the layered toe nail was so soaked it began crumbling and as I cut it shot up and like a projectile a piece of the crumbling rocket flew into the back of my throat!!! I dropped her foot and stuck out my tongue as I gagged and I felt it drop down my throat. I swallowed her toenail. I will say it again, I swallowed the lunch lady's toenail!! I jumped to my feet and ran to the bathroom. I abandoned all client etiquette. I looked desperately for someone, anyone to give me direction. What is the protocol of swallowing a toenail?! This was never mentioned in my mandatory classes. I frantically ran to tell my coworkers. They just laughed.
I would like to put this all behind me now but I have to realize that my experience has shaped me into what I am today. I am a woman that suffers with pedicure phobia
Thursday, June 26, 2008
A Wealth of Knowledge
Wiley is my little wealth of knowldege who is always curious about more information. He simply loves information, mostly on the Civil War, but really on anything.Questions/comments he has asked me this week alone.
1. "What is the significance of the hourglass on pirate flags?"
2. "George Washington Carver used peanuts to make soap, cheese, coffee, ink, milk, and oh uh, shampoo!"
3. "Did you know that gagging is good? Yeah it removes all the mucous."
4. "It takes 80 bags of manuer to produce one bag of potatoes."
5. "In ancient egyptian times, they were comfotable painting naked ladies."
6. "Seventy-five percent of the dust under your bed is actually dried skin."
7. "If God came to you in a dream and told you to move to Antarctica, would you move?"
8. (to Bobby) "Did you know the only civilian killed in the Gettysburg battles was a woman in her house baking bread, that was shot by a confederate bullet that went through her wall, her name was Jenny Wade?"
9. "Mom wisdom is given to you by God and knowledge is just human studies and stuff like that."
10. "Do you know that the man that broke the record for knowing languages knew 27 languages, I don't know his name though.....maybe we could look that up!"
These are things he made me research with him this week:
1. The Lost City of Atlantis (was in fact theorized to be built on a volcano)
2. Is there life on other planets? (He concluded no)
3. The significance of the hourglass on pirate flags. (ask him, and he will tell you all about it)
Most of the time Wiley is talking. He talks about things that sometimes my mind can't keep up with everything he is saying. I told him the other day (just to see what his reaction would be) that he'd be going to public school. He cried. I told him I was joking. So what does my son want to be? His first thought was that he just wanted to inherit money. I was upset and asked him why. He apparently didn't know someone had to die for you to get the inheritance. So he has changed from wanting to be a historian to now an archeologist. His back up plan is to play in the NFL, even though he says thats "ridiculous", so "if that doesn't work than I can join the army and make a few bucks....and I found out they give you money for school!"
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Scarletism for the day
After writing about her I decided that I too often forget some of the things she says so I will blog them.
Dhyan (to me): Man, I am really starting to get silver hair!! Did you ever think I would have silver hair so young?!
Scarlet (to us all): (grossed out) Ooo, I will run away!
Me (to Scarlet): (confused) Why?!
Scarlet: (to me) I won't live with a man that has silver hair.
